14 September 2016 @ 12:22 pm
FIC: Parenting Practice  
Title: Parenting Practice
Author/Artist: [livejournal.com profile] enchanted_jae
Prompt Number: #6 by [livejournal.com profile] carpemermaid
Pairing(s): Harry/Draco, Ron/Hermione
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters herein are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No copyright infringement is intended.
Warning(s): Noxious messes
Epilogue compliant? In regards to Ron, Hermione, and their children, yes
Word Count: 1654
Author's Notes: Thank you for the amazing prompt, [livejournal.com profile] carpemermaid, and thank you to [livejournal.com profile] tanyareed for the spiffing beta job.

Summary: Harry volunteers to watch Rose and Hugo for Ron and Hermione, in hopes that Draco will see how precious children can be.

"Harry, you can call my mobile if you need anything."

"We'll be fine, Hermione," Harry assured her. "Please don't worry."

"It's not me who's worried," said Hermione. "Ron is convinced no one else can care for our children."

"That's not true," scoffed Ron, juggling Hugo on one hip. "It's just that I would have felt more comfortable leaving them with Mum."

"Molly already has her hands full with George and Angelina's kids this weekend. Besides, Harry and Malfoy need practice," said Hermione

"Practice for what?" asked Draco, glancing up from where he was entertaining Rose with wisps of magic.

Harry smiled at his boyfriend. "For having children of our own."

"Are you thinking of adopting?" asked Hermione.

"Harry said we may try Muggle sugarcee," said Draco.

"Surrogacy," Harry corrected with a chuckle.

Draco stuck his tongue out, and Rose giggled.

"Malfoy, please don't teach my daughter any bad manners," Hermione huffed. "It's bad enough she has Ron for a father and George for an uncle."

"Oy!" Ron protested. He handed Hugo to Harry and guided his wife back to the Floo.

"We'll pick them up in the morning, unless you need us to get them sooner," Hermione said over her shoulder. "Behave, you two," she added.

"They'll be fine," Harry assured her.

"I meant you and Malfoy."


This was a disaster.

Hugo had to be watched every moment, so he didn't put something in his mouth, while Rose fussed and wanted her mum.

"Hugo, no!" cried Draco. rushing to rescue the toddler from the latest choking hazard. Hugo howled when Draco snatched the small object from his grasp, and Draco frantically tried to soothe him.

"I want mummy!" shrieked Rose.

Harry and Draco looked at one another, desperation in their gazes. "Rose, honey, why don't I read you a story?" Harry tried.

Rose nodded. "Story!" she cried.

Harry's shoulders relaxed, and he quickly selected a children's book from the ones Hermione had sent along.

"No, Uncle Harry, I want the one about titties."

Her announcement was met with a choking noise, and it didn't come from Hugo. Draco was staring at Harry, his eyes huge with disbelief.

Harry searched through the books and found one featuring cats. "These kitties?" he asked. Hoped.

"Yes!" squealed Rose. She clapped her hands and clambered up on the sofa next to him.

Hugo toddled over, and Draco picked him up and sat down next to Rose.

Harry opened the book and began to read. Rose giggled each time Harry used a high falsetto voice when the kittens in the story spoke. Hugo smiled and bounced on Draco's lap. Harry was enjoying himself, and a quick glance at Draco showed that he appeared to be having fun, too. Harry was inordinately pleased; this is what he'd had in mind when he offered to watch Rosie and Hugo while Ron and Hermione attended her Muggle cousin's wedding. He wanted Draco to see how much fun children could be, and how brilliant they'd be at caring for them together.

Harry finished the story and closed the book.

"Read another one, Uncle Harry!" cried Rose.

Hugo babbled his agreement.

"I think it's time for dinner," said Harry. "Your mum wants to be sure you eat on time, okay?"

Rose's face reflected her disappointment, but she nodded her acquiescence. "Okay. What's for dinner?"

"Your mum sent some chicken strips that you can eat with chips," Harry replied.

Rose wrinkled her nose. "I don't like chicken," she pouted. "I want pizza."

Dismayed, Harry glanced up at Draco.

"I'm certain we have a frozen pizza," said Draco. "I can put it in the oven while you read another story to the little goblins."

Rose giggled. "We're not goblins, Uncle Draco," she said.

Draco squinted his eyes and peered at her. "Are you sure?" he asked. "You look like a goblin to me." As Rose laughed again, Draco handed Hugo over to Harry then stood up and stretched. "One pizza, coming up!"


"Uncle Harry, my tummy hurts."

Harry ruffled Rose's ginger hair. "I'm not surprised, sweetie," he said. "You ate almost two whole pieces of pizza all by yourself." He looked over at Draco and asked, "Is there anything that will help soothe Rose's stomach?"

"I have just the thing," said Draco. He got up and left the living room.

"I don't feel good, Uncle Harry."

Harry saw the panicked expression on Rose's face, and he panicked, too. "Draco!" he called. "Hurry!"

By the time Draco rushed back with a phial of potion, Harry was contemplating the carnage around him with horror in his eyes. Draco gagged and thrust the phial at Harry before fleeing the scene.

Harry sighed and set the phial on the end table.

"I'm sorry, Uncle Harry."

"It's okay, Rosie," he said. He stood up and plucked her off of the sofa. "Let's get you into the bath and then your pyjamas, yeah?" He took her into the bathroom, started the water, and stripped her out of her soiled clothing. Harry plunked Rose in the bath, pulled down the detachable shower head, and hosed her off. Rose sputtered and complained, but Harry was intent on getting her clean. He left her in the bath, poked his head into the bedroom, where Draco was hiding, and instructed his boyfriend to keep an eye on Rose.

Harry returned to the living room, just in time to stop Hugo from putting something truly disgusting into his mouth. He settled Hugo in a corner with a pile of toys to keep him occupied. Next, Harry performed some heavy duty Scourgify spells to clean up the mess Rosie had caused when her pizza made a return appearance.

"Rose Weasley, get back here!" Draco exclaimed.

Harry swung around in time to see Rose dashing out of the bathroom, naked as the day she was born. "Rose!" he scolded. "You get your jammies on."

"I don't wanna wear jammies," she pouted. "I wanna be bare-naked."

Draco caught up to the little hooligan, still clutching Rose's flower-bedecked pyjamas. "You have to put your pyjamas on," he said. "If you don't the...the nargles will come up and pinch your bum."

Rose's eyes widened in her gamine face. "Is that twu, Uncle Harry?"

Harry wasn't keen on lying to a child, but anything was better than allowing Rose to romp around the flat naked. "Yes," he said solemnly. "It's twu."

Draco, the bully, chose that moment to flick a small hex at her bum. Rose shrieked, and Hugo began to cry. "Gimme my jammies!" Rose begged.

Draco tossed the pyjamas to Harry, while he went to soothe Hugo. He scooped the toddler up and took him into the bedroom.

Harry got Rose into her pyjamas in time to hear Draco's panicked voice calling for help. He rushed to the bedroom and halted in the doorway. The stench was overwhelming from there, and he could tell by the expression on Draco's face that it was worse at ground zero.

Draco sent him a pleading look. "Harry, would you—"

"Oh, no," Harry growled. "I got stuck cleaning up Rosie's vom-bomb. It's your turn to deal with a noxious mess."

Draco gagged and pinched his nose shut. In the meantime, Hugo flailed on the bed and babbled happily to himself. Draco held his breath, drew his wand, and cast a Bubble charm over his head.

Harry just grinned and left his boyfriend to deal with this latest disaster as he went to check on their other charge. Harry didn't see Rose in the living room. Instead, he found her in the kitchen, balancing precariously on a chair as she tried to open the freezer. "Rose, what are you doing?!" Harry cried.

She frowned at him over her shoulder. "I'm hungry, Uncle Harry. I want more pizza."

"No more pizza for you, young lady," said Harry, plucking her from the chair before she toppled over. "How about some toast?"

Rose wrinkled her nose.

"I'll put some of Grandma Molly's blackberry jam on it."

"Okay, Uncle Harry!"

Harry toasted a slice of bread, slathered it with butter and jam, then settled Rose at the kitchen table with a glass of milk and her treat. He reckoned he'd better make sure that Draco hadn't used a Scourgify on Hugo's tender bum. Harry walked out of the kitchen to see Draco sitting on the sofa with Hugo on his lap. He was reading another story book, and Hugo was hanging on his every word. Hugo yawned and popped his thumb in his mouth.

Harry checked on Rose and found her drinking the last of her milk. When she was finished, Harry took her hand and led her to the living room. Rose crawled up on the sofa and snuggled next to Draco to listen as he read. Harry returned to the kitchen to tidy up. By the time he was finished, Draco was on his third story, and Hugo was asleep. Rose wasn't far behind her brother. Her eyes were drooping, and she was fighting to stay awake. Harry moved Hugo to the far end of the sofa, draped a blanket over him, and cast a protective charm to prevent him from rolling onto the floor.

Harry went to the bedroom and returned with a few more blankets and some pillows. He made a nest on the floor then scooped Rose off of the sofa. She made a sleepy protest, but when Harry settled her among the pillows and blankets, she immediately curled up and fell asleep. Harry breathed out a sigh of relief and dropped onto the sofa next to Draco, careful not to jostle the baby.

"Aren't they precious?" Harry whispered, looking from one sleeping angel to the other.

Draco smiled at him and replied, "Yeah, they are, especially when they're sleeping."

Harry chuckled and gave Draco a one-armed hug. "Do you think we're ready for children?"

"Perhaps," said Draco, "in another five years or so."
( Post a new comment )
[identity profile] smirkingcat.livejournal.com on September 14th, 2016 04:42 pm (UTC)
this is sweet and yucky at the same time!
but what a sweet story, and i can clearly see dracos disgusted face- but oh a bubble head- charm that would be so useful to have! where is my magic i need to learn it just in case
[identity profile] enchanted-jae.livejournal.com on October 4th, 2016 02:52 am (UTC)
Draco got more than he bargained for, taking care of the kids. I think both of them did. Ha ha!
[identity profile] leontinabowie.livejournal.com on September 14th, 2016 06:12 pm (UTC)
Draco and Harry certainly had their hands full!

A cute little fic, with a very realistic look at a night babysitting children :D
[identity profile] enchanted-jae.livejournal.com on October 4th, 2016 04:26 pm (UTC)
I think babysitting children is the reason I never had any of my own.


Harry and Draco are braver than I am!
[identity profile] castilian9.livejournal.com on September 14th, 2016 06:42 pm (UTC)
Every scene is so realistic. And I understand Draco: taking care of children is very stressful. I really enjoyed this story.

[identity profile] enchanted-jae.livejournal.com on October 4th, 2016 04:27 pm (UTC)
It's especially stressful when you don't have any of your own.

[identity profile] khalulu.livejournal.com on September 14th, 2016 06:47 pm (UTC)
Draco has some inventive parenting techniques - though stinging poor Rose's bum was a bit much! I like the "little goblins" exchange.

I'll bet Molly could have handled two sets of kids fine, though!
capitu[personal profile] capitu on September 14th, 2016 08:27 pm (UTC)
though stinging poor Rose's bum was a bit much!

Hahaha, I thought the same, but I figured it was something like a playful pinch in the bum rather. :D
[identity profile] enchanted-jae.livejournal.com on October 4th, 2016 04:28 pm (UTC)
I'm thinking that hex was just a bit of a tickle; enough to get Rosie motivated.

[identity profile] carpemermaid.livejournal.com on September 14th, 2016 06:58 pm (UTC)
Ahahaha, this was so great and sweet, I was so glad to see it claimed! :D I love Draco's mispronunciation of surrogacy, and how they had to keep running after the kids. Rose and Hugo were adorable. The titties!! LOL!!! I love that line about Harry asking (HOPING) that she meant the book on cats. And Draco's quick thinking with the nargles was super funny, too!
[identity profile] enchanted-jae.livejournal.com on October 11th, 2016 02:12 am (UTC)
It was a fun prompt! I always like to see people with no children dealing with the nappies full of fright, and kids getting sick and saying questionable things. Ha ha! Trial by fire for Harry and Draco in this one. I'm delighted you enjoyed it!
capitu[personal profile] capitu on September 14th, 2016 08:26 pm (UTC)
Oh my god! Harry wasn't kidding when "it was a disaster." *lol* Everything that could have gone wrong pretty much went for a moment there, and you know, pretty realistic when it comes to babysit. I'm happy the night ended in a much sweeter tone than it began. :D
[identity profile] enchanted-jae.livejournal.com on October 21st, 2016 05:46 pm (UTC)
That was trial by fire, right there!

[identity profile] roxannepackard.livejournal.com on September 14th, 2016 11:54 pm (UTC)
Aww! This is so true to life - mispronunciation of titties and all, lol! I can so see Draco not being ready for kids yet, especially after that, but since they survived, I could also see Harry giving him those big adorable puppy dog eyes and saying please in just the right tone of voice and Draco sighing... and then agreeing, lol!
[identity profile] enchanted-jae.livejournal.com on October 21st, 2016 05:49 pm (UTC)
Draco had fun, and now he knows he can survive the worst. Well, until the teen years, when things get more crazy. Ha ha!
[identity profile] fantasyfiend09.livejournal.com on September 15th, 2016 02:27 am (UTC)
Very cute! Brave boys, diving right in with the two of them. Even Ron and Hermione started off with one immobile baby.

This was so realistic and captured both the stress and the joy of goblins kids.
[identity profile] enchanted-jae.livejournal.com on October 21st, 2016 05:51 pm (UTC)
Brave, or foolish?


Aw, they did alright, didn't they?
[identity profile] lijahlover.livejournal.com on September 15th, 2016 03:15 am (UTC)
Awwwww so much cuteness 😃😃😃😃😃
[identity profile] enchanted-jae.livejournal.com on October 21st, 2016 05:52 pm (UTC)
Thanks so much!
[personal profile] kikimay on September 15th, 2016 06:53 pm (UTC)
Oh Mystery Author, you clearly know what's up! Children are adorable but they can and will destroy you, especially when they are together XDDD

Fun story! I especially loved Draco being a bully and then deciding that he and Harry can wait, Harry trying to deal with Rosie and this bit:

Rose's eyes widened in her gamine face. "Is that twu, Uncle Harry?"

Harry wasn't keen on lying to a child, but anything was better than allowing Rose to romp around the flat naked. "Yes," he said solemnly. "It's twu."

I do that too when I babysit kids, I speak like them! XDDDD
[identity profile] enchanted-jae.livejournal.com on October 21st, 2016 05:52 pm (UTC)
The best part about babysitting is, you can surrender them to their parents at the end of the evening. Ha ha!
[identity profile] pollyweasley.livejournal.com on September 18th, 2016 12:41 am (UTC)
Omg I absolutely adored this! This was funny and fluffy and so terribly domestic! I love when the boys are under the same roof living together as a family - or planning to have one. I loved how everything went wrong and still it was adorable! And the end...!

Harry chuckled and gave Draco a one-armed hug. "Do you think we're ready for children?"

"Perhaps," said Draco, "in another five years or so."


Thank you for this piece, Mistery Author. It was awesome!
[identity profile] enchanted-jae.livejournal.com on October 21st, 2016 05:54 pm (UTC)
Thank you very much! I'm delighted you enjoyed it.
[identity profile] maccadole.livejournal.com on October 4th, 2016 11:53 am (UTC)
Ahahah, aw, yes, and isn't that what it's like? Not just with children, but in life in general. When things go wrong, they all go wrong.

In their own little ways.

This reminds me a little bit about chaotic days at the preschool where I used to work. It's inconvenient, but so bizarre it ends up almost funny. And this story was funny. God, poor boys. But they managed, didn't they?

"Aren't they precious?" Harry whispered, looking from one sleeping angel to the other.

Draco smiled at him and replied, "Yeah, they are, especially when they're sleeping."

Lollll. Yeah, give it another five years. That might be a good idea.
[identity profile] enchanted-jae.livejournal.com on October 21st, 2016 05:57 pm (UTC)
I don't think Draco will make it more than two years before he is agreeing to be a parent. Hee! Especially with the adorable Rosie and Hugo around.
[identity profile] adafrog.livejournal.com on October 7th, 2016 11:59 pm (UTC)
Cute, thanks.
[identity profile] enchanted-jae.livejournal.com on October 21st, 2016 06:25 pm (UTC)
Thanks much!